22. The Hazards of Love

The Decemberists have long been one of my most beloved bands. Their music is always terrific, layers upon layers of integrated sound that parallel the subjects and moods of their songs. The lyrics are even more impressive, courtesy of Colin Meloy's ultra-literary vernacular and remarkable storytelling abilities. Together, each song is a mini-masterpiece of folk rock - some whimsical, some campy, some sweet, some tragic. Each album is a random collection of individual 'short stories' in song form that take the listener to various times and places. That was, until now.

The Hazards of Love is The Decemberists' latest effort, a self-proclaimed 'folk-rock opera'. An 18-song, hour-long wonderfully woven tale, told as much by the music as the words themselves. I can't hype this album enough - it is one of the most inspired (and inspiring) works I've ever heard. They performed it in its entirety at the 2009 South by Southwest music festival as its grand debut, and it absolutely blew the crowd away.

If you're a fan of The Decemberists, I'm sure you'll agree this is their Magnum Opus (to date, anyway). If you're unfamiliar and enjoy folk rock, compelling stories, or both, I implore you to check them out.

21. Coldplay's "Life in Technicolor ii" Video

Say what you will about Coldplay... I'll even say it - I used to really like them, and am now almost completely indifferent toward them. Their level of fame and following seem to be inversely proportional to amount of things I find interesting about their music. That's just my opinion. It might also be yours. Either way, they've just put out one of my favorite music videos of all time.

I'm not going to say anything about it, because: a) I like the suspense, and b) your lack of any knowledge will make it that much sweeter. But it is Fantastic (note the capital 'F').

20. Demetri Martin

Demetri Martin thinks the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of 'Charades'... followed by 'Naps'. He plays guitar and harmonica (and foot chimes) while telling jokes. He draws simple but hilarious pictures, sometimes with both hands. He did his undergrad at Yale and dropped out of NYU's law school one year before graduation to pursue comedy. And in the world of dry, deadpan humor, he's surely the next big thing.

Before I wore out his guffaw-inducing comedy cd These Are Jokes, I had been an ardent fan of his periodic segments on The Daily Show. His "Trendspotting" showcased his sarcastic wit while discussing current hot topics in the youth movement, and he also filmed a unique Comedy Central Presents standup routine. But it's his current project, Important Things with Demetri Martin, that has (hopefully) catapulted him into the spotlight. The show features standup bits that display his visual stylings, as well as a variety of sketches, a la Chappelle's Show.

For fans of Flight of the Conchords and Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts, I strongly suggest catching Important Things on Wednesday nights. Oh, and don't forget these as well...

19. Wordle

I was writing a post on a completely different item, and while searching for a killer picture to slap in the corner I stumbled across Wordle. It kind of blew my mind... but just a little. You just paste a bunch of text or type in a web address, and it spits out a cool, customizable graphic based on the prominence of words in said text. That's it - easy as pie. I like pie.

I copied all my February posts and pasted them into Wordle, and after a minute or two of finagling the basic settings, I settled on this image (it's bigger if you click on it). Note the focal words: gwh, february, great. Looks like it works...

Information on this site and its gadget is tough to come by; I rummaged around and all I discoved was that it's a pretty busted site in general. I'd stick to the featured product and never mind the details. Kind of like sausage and meth.

[edit: Something about this post bothered me while I was writing it, but I couldn't pin it down. Today it hit me - the name. "Wordle" is an awful name. Of all the spelling variations of words that rhyme with "turtle" (and there are many... go ahead, we'll wait), this is the most awkward. It looks odd. It sounds odd. As far as product names go, it ranks right alongside the Snuggy on a scale of One to Nads.]

18. Blazermania

Everyone in the NBA knows something about Portland: it's a bona fide hoops city. Could be because 32 years ago the Blazers won the NBA title. Could also be from making the NBA Finals a couple of times in the early 90s, and the record run of 26 playoff appearances in 27 years from 1977-2003. Rip City. Bust a Bucket. If you were around, you remember. But most importantly, in my opinion, is the fact that the Blazers are the only major league sport in Oregon. And the Rose Garden is a nice place to be in the endless winter rain.

The fanaticism simmered a few years ago, when a shockingly high number of players were breaking laws, being boneheads, and just stepping over lines. Habitually. The team was, in the words of Charlie Murphy, habitual line-steppers. Choking coaches, flipping off fans, arrests, guns, skipping games to hit up strip clubs... you get the idea. The team wasn't just playing poorly, they were an embarrassment. The fans wouldn't support that kind of team.

The past few years have been a renaissance for the Blazers. New management came in and scooped the turds out of the punchbowl. The last few drafts have been an incredible source of young talent. The players now are high-character dudes, most with tremendous potential. They're young. They're getting better, and will most likely return to the playoffs this spring. They will be great soon. Roy. Aldridge. Oden. Rudy... and most fans' lists keep going. The team is a team again. This is a great time to get into Blazermania.

Like many, a group of friends and I each bought season tickets the spring before last, and the crowds have been absolutely electric the entire time. People are psyched; you can feel it in the buzz of the crowd, you can even sense it when watching on tv. You hear people talking about them everywhere. The Blazers are 25-5 at home this year. Every game is a sellout, and the opposing teams consider the Rose Garden crowd one of the strongest in the NBA. Just last night, the Blazers chased Indiana all game, and the fans never let up. In the fourth quarter, with the crowd behind them, they made their move and won in the final seconds. This is not common anywhere but here.

But maybe the best story of the year came last night, when the Blazers organization offered to match (up to $10,000) what the fans that night could donate to help a family whose son had been hit while walking across I-5 following a previous game. The teenager, who has down syndrome, had gotten seperated from his parents at the arena. The parents had no insurance. Taking donations at the door, the fans and team pooled together over $23,000. [edit: sadly, the boy passed away thursday afternoon.]

All good things. See for yourself.

17. Jaydiohead

I like Jay-Z. I love Radiohead. Seems like an easy winner, yeah? Well, I've been debating this for almost a month now, and I've finally come to terms with it.

A couple months ago, the obnoxiously named DJ Minty Fresh Beats fused Jay-Z vocals with remixed Radiohead music, and offered his creation to the masses on his website. When my friend told me about Jaydiohead, I fell in love with the idea. When I listened the first few times, I was mostly impressed. Some songs were great, some were decent... but then I started to overthink. Sure, mash-up albums aren't exactly creative wonders. Yes, the few successful ones seem to always feature Jay-Z (see Danger Mouse's Grey Album and MTV's Collision Course), but that's no surprise given his name recognition, as well as the availability of a cappella versions of his albums. I wondered if this was just a cute bastardization of two definitive sounds, forced together to create a catchy mongrel stripped of the purity that made its parts so dynamic. But then I just kept on digging it, almost as much as I dig that last sentence I just wrote. And I'm ok with that.

Jay-Z enthusiasts will likely be more receptive than pure Radiohead fans, but if you like either one there's no reason you won't find this record at least interesting, a change of pace on a familiar sound. If you're lucky, it might even turn you on to the other act. And for those who enjoy both, I'm finally able to endorse this as a quality piece of mixed-genre ear candy.

16. Chris Webber & Gary Payton

For far too long, the sports television world has suffered through a seemingly bottomless pool of painfully mundane analysts, either offering their common, uninspired thoughts or bucking the trends simply for the sake of argument. Pregame shows. Halftime shows. Postgame shows. All day long on ESPN, including the former champion of sports analysis, Sportscenter. 95% of these are now unwatchable. There is hope, however, as the sages at NBAtv have finally realized that viewers want insight and personality. Enter Chris Webber and Gary Payton.

For starters, Webber and Payton were both elite NBA players for many years, which allows them to break down professional hoops like few others can. On top of that, they're both recently retired, offering knowledge on the current game as well as current players. But what makes them infinitely more entertaining is their incessant sniping and hilarious belligerence. Between their nuggets of actual NBA wisdom the two trade barbs, ridicule other athletes, and reminisce on their playing days. They truly seem comfortable, and watching them crack each other up (and whoever has the fortune of being alongside) is a refreshing alternative to endless diatribe.

Here's the rub: most people don't get NBAtv. Luckilly, the world wide web is a great place to find video clips. When Charles Barkley was serving his suspenion from TNT last month, they showcased the Webber and Payton show, and the results were terrific. The two ran circles around TNT staples Kenny Smith and Ernie Johnson, and while they might not be the most polished, politically correct, or professional analysts, when taken with a grain of salt, they are absolutely the most entertaining and insightful. Keep an eye out, with any luck they'll be given a bigger audience.

15. FUBAR

If you've heard of this movie before, give yourself a pat on the back. To say it's obscure is like calling The Godfather "decent". It doesn't look like much either, which surely adds to the infrequency of it actually being watched. But therein lies its true beauty - the absolutely hidden gem, unpolished, ignored, and buried in racks of mediocrity.

I went into this movie with no expectations. Actually, you could probably say I had apprehensions. But FUBAR delivered from the start, and it now resides in the exclusive pantheon of films that traversed almost the entire spectrum of hate/love. We're talking from a negative-5 (when I saw the dvd case) to a solid 8. That's a 13-point swing.

The film is a documentary-style story centered around two headbanging Canadian friends who haven't amounted to much, but are still "just givin' er" every day. Terry Cahill and Dean 'the Deaner' Murdoch share with us their daily lives, offering insights on careers, dating, how to drink beer, and ultimately, delve into their philosophies on their own mortality. Most of the lines from the movie are hilarious by themselves; couple them with their situations and their settings and it makes for a brilliant 90 minutes (if you don't mind swearing, that is).

14. Bar Refaeli

Um... Put difficult to sentences into words. Use will just one:
Outrageous.

13. The Washington Independent

Rumor has it that there has been quite a bit of political controversy over the past year. Naturally, that also comes with an endless barrage of stories and opinions to keep us oh-so-well-informed. How noble, right? Um...

If you follow politics on the internets, my numbers* suggest you started at say, Fox News or MSNBC. Now, while Fox News has been absurd for the better part of a decade, MSNBC has been making significant strides in keeping pace. You likely got tired of the relentless diatribe and/or selective rhetoric, and moved on to the gentler leanings of CNN or [sigh...] USA Today. But if you're savvy, you might have kept searching for that elusive source of unbiased quality. The New Republic or the Huffington Post? (socialist propaganda!) The Drudge Report? (fascists! and nearly unreadable) Politico? (not bad actually... i mean, overrated!) Enter The Washington Independent.

Their own description says it best:

The Washington Independent is a fleet-footed webpaper of politics and policy. We are the ink-stained wretches of the digital era. We aim for snap-crackle-pop reporting in our articles and blog posts – all working together to tell a bigger story. We provide thought-provoking commentary from insightful experts. We write to record scenes from the passing show, to stir things up and to keep the bastards honest. We seek to explore and define our nation and the context for our times.

Founded by the Center for Independent Media, the site offers (so far) the most balanced articles and op-ed pieces I've seen published. The topics and writing are excellent, and the site is very easy to navigate. And just now entering it's second year, the best is yet to come.

*by 'numbers' I mean 'rash generalization'

12. iConcertCal

Pissed that you totally missed the Jonas Brothers show last week? Dying to know if there will be enough time between an upcoming Ray LaMontagne album and your sweetie's birthday to memorize every saccharine-coated line? Wondering why you're still reading this? Well, there's hope for you yet...

iConcertCal is a free, downloadable plug-in that works through iTunes. It shows a calendar of all upcoming performances of every artist in your iTunes library within any radius of your city. It even gives links to purchase tickets! Booyah!

Another, often overlooked feature is the album release notification. All upcoming albums by the artists in your library are shown on the calendar, and can be prompted to alert you when their songs are played.

Both of these features are great when you don't have the time or attention span to dig through the entertainment section of the paper for kick-ass music to catch. It's free, very helpful, and super easy to use. Enjoy the show.

11. Lamb

Ever wonder what Jesus was like growing up? Well, this probably isn't it. But it's a hilarious version as told by his lifelong best friend Biff. Yes, Biff (also the Hebrew word for 'a slap across the back of the head', allegedly). This story is Biff's gospel, and recounts the 25 years the inseparable pair spent together.

From a morality standpoint, Biff and Joshua (aka Jesus) have little in common. This works in Josh's favor, as he is able to learn about sin without actually committing any; Biff, on the other hand, is usually more than willing. It's through these vicarious experiences that Josh is able to relate to the underlying forces that drive sin and temptation. But despite the potentially heavy subject matter, the humor is sharp and keeps the story relatively light:

(on the topic of Kama Sutra)
Biff: "Josh are you sure it doesn't bother you talking about this stuff when you will never be allowed to do it?"
Josh: "No it's interesting. It doesn’t bother you when I talk about heaven does it?"
Biff: "Should it?"
Josh: "Look! A Seagull!"

The two spend most of their lives traveling the known world, seeking out each of the three wise men and their individual spiritual virtues, so that Josh can figure out not just how to be the messiah, but what to do with that responsibility. The combination of the Josh's sanctity and Biff's utter humanity offers a dialogue that creates a more complete picture of both the good and sinister sides of human nature.

A college friend recommended this book several years ago, and I'm now on copy #4 (I lend it out often - it doesn't always come back. C'est la vie...). I don't know anyone who has taken offense to the story or the portrayal of a funny, curious Jesus, but I suppose there's always a chance. Christopher Moore is absolutely a satirist, and though the text is littered with profanity and the occasional debauchery, there is no sense of blasphemy or real criticism of religion. Only a humorous, thought-provoking, and often touching story of two best friends with one great task.

10. Zoë Keating

Strings, strings, how I love the strings. Of all the classical instruments, the string section can pull me in every direction. And the king of the strings is none other than the glorious cello.

If you're like me, you've wondered what an orchestra would sound like if it were made up entirely of cello music. High and mid cello for the melody. Low cello for the underlying bass. You get the idea - a full symphonic range and harmony produced by the most beautiful instrument. This is where Zoë Keating rocks your world.

From her website:

Armed with just her cello and a small box of electronics, Zoë Keating is a one-woman orchestra. She records layer upon layer of cello, her feet dancing over an array of pedals to transform her solo performances into multipart works.

The result is a collection of songs that grow from a single line to a full wall of layered sound, with pieces flowing in and out, all wonderfully wrapped into packages both sweeping and haunting. Her music can be found on iTunes, and she was also the featured guest on a mini-episode of Radiolab, which offers a nice look at how her songs are built.

9. Planet Earth

I figured this would be too obvious to mention, but over the past month I've been amazed at the number of people who have yet to treat themselves to such an enthralling and beautiful series. Everyone needs to watch this, no question.

But if you need convincing, Planet Earth is an 11-part series produced by the BBC and the Discovery Channel. Filming all over the world in every major habitat took over five years, but the patience paid off in the scenes that were captured, some of which had never been seen before, let alone recorded. On high-definition cameras. For us to enjoy. You will constantly be amazed at not just the camerawork but also the incredible and bizarre scenes that take place in nature every day. It is constant combination of entertainment and education, whether it's interesting, beautiful, comical, or downright brutal.

I can't stress enough how great this series is, especially when watched on a proper-sized screen. I don't know anyone who has seen one episode and was not immediately hooked. It is truly a stunning view of the natural world.

8. Myron Rolle

Many professional athletes have been produced at the football factory program of Florida State University. Before the 2008 football season, many thought current strong safety Myron Rolle, a junior, was due to make that leap into this year's NFL draft. FSU fans expected Rolle to follow his strong start (first team frosh all-american, ACC defensive rookie-of-the-year) with a memorable seaon, and he didn't disappoint. He earned all-america honors for a decent Seminoles team, and looks to be a solid draft pick. But unfortunately for NFL teams and fans, they must wait another year.

No, he didn't decide to return to FSU for his senior year. In fact, he's already earned his degree... in Exercise Science, including his pre-med requirements. So why didn't the aspiring neurosurgeon enter the draft this year? He was awarded the Rhodes Scholarship, and will be studying Public Administration at Oxford University, arguably the most prestigious school in the world.

In an age when college athletes aren't regarded as students, and when it's rare to see graduates in the drafts, Rolle is truly an incredible example.

7. Hy-Five: Songs For Walking Into A Room

Everybody likes to make a grand entrance, whether it's a planned event or just a spontaneous occurance. Most of us don't have many opportunities for the former, but we all have chances to pretend to be super-cool when walking into a room of friends and acquaintances. The music playing is a crucial element to the coolness projected by you, and can make or break your entrance.

The following is a list of five songs that will propel you from "oh" to "OHHH!!!" The beats are funky but not spastic, and the tempos are perfect, ensuring even the squares won't be able to resist feeling them. If this can be properly timed, prepare to dazzle. If you hear one of these songs playing in another room, immediately head for the doorway. Or, just play these while you're walking with your Ipod and strut away. You know you're bad.

1. Gold For The Price Of Silver - Kings of Convenience
2. Fake Bonanza - Mos Def
3. New York - Cat Power
4. Light Years - 311
5. Mr. Jinx - Quarashi

6. The Monte Cristo Sandwich

I love sandwiches. I'd wager that you do too. Think about it - take any kind of delicious meat (or eggs, if you're rolling with the egg sal), add a couple slices of heavenly cheese, a dollop of a tasty condiment, and wrap it up in a convenient bread package... yeah, you know. The variations are endless, making "sandwiches" one of the greatest foods in existence. Did I mention I love sandwiches?

When I was 19, my affinity for the sandwich reached a new apex when I rolled the dice on previously unheard of menu item - the Monte Cristo. I hit the jackpot. Picture this: a double-decker sando with deli sliced ham AND turkey, two slices of premium cheese (I suggest a nice havarti or fontina), a thin spread of fruit preserves (usually cran or raspberry, though my favorite was an apple chutney), and bread of your choice, which is french-toasted. It literally blew my mind... and knocked Denny's Breakfast Dagwood from the top spot. It was incredible.

The problem with the Monte Cristo (aside from its relatively high caloric load) is that it is far from common on lunch menus. The majority of instances I've seen it have been daily specials, so beware if you've decided on one ahead of time. However, this makes it that much more special when you see it, and the lack of anticipation will only heighten the experience. Or, you can just make it yourself at home, with minimal effort, and maximum customization. Tastebuds, rejoice.

5. Get Fuzzy

When Bill Watterson said goodbye to Calvin & Hobbes about 15 years ago, the critic Charles Solomon wrote it had "left behind a hole in the comics page that no strip has been able to fill." Damn straight. C&H was the most brilliant comic strip ever written. But the methods and style Watterson used had been impressed upon some younger writers, and over the past several years a few strips have become successful in their own rights, though the spirit of Calvin resonates throughout. The best of these syndicated strips is Get Fuzzy.

Rob is an everyday guy who works for an ad agency, likes sports and music (and the occasional dash of nerdery), and shares his place with his cat and dog. Bucky, the cat, is aggressive, destructive, cynical, and completely egocentric. Satchel, on the other hand, is generous and sweet, though also completely dense. Due to Bucky's irrationality/hostility and Satchel's well-intended idiocy, Rob finds himself constantly playing referee. Frustration, and thus hilarity, ensues.

The strip is sharply drawn and cleverly written, touching on current events as well as general daily life. Also, it's loaded with puns! Most local and national newspapers run the strip, and it can also be read daily online. Eight collections and four treasuries (each treasury consists of two collections, natch) have been published, as well as numerous calendars and other merchandise. If you like a good chuckle in the morning, see what the guys are up to. Surely it will be some sort of trouble.

4. Dave Chappelle's Block Party

I caught this on cable the other night, and I couldn't have been happier. I thought it was great the first (and only) time I'd seen it, which was a few years ago, and it got me again. Great story, funny jokes, well made... oh, and the music, of course.

At the height of his fame, Dave Chappelle decided to throw a block party for a Brooklyn neighborhood - free of charge, anybody welcome, and by total surprise (well, until 2 days before). The crowd that swarmed the block had no idea who would be performing, and they were treated to a line-up of some of the best and most respected hip-hop artists and musicians in the industry. Truly this was an insane show, Chappelle declaring it "the concert I've always wanted to see." From Kanye West to Mos Def to The Roots and much more, the night was capped by the sudden, one-night reunion of The Fugees.
It's no surprise Chappelle asked these particular artists - they're some of the most socially conscious and revered people in the game. Who else would agree to be a part of such an event, a free show (funded completely by Chappelle) dedicated to the spirit of community?

Woven into the concert footage is the documentary, consisting mostly of Chappelle's trip to rural Ohio to recruit some party-goers, including middle-aged white folks and a small collegiate marching band, as well as back-stage clips and discussions with the musicians and Chappelle. The interactions and conversation are fascinating, Chappelle shows his off-screen persona yet is still hilarious, and the emotional payoff is moving. A great show, a great film, and all for the greater good. And according to Chappelle, the greatest night of his career.

3. Radiolab

For those with a curious mind, the folks at WNYC and NPR have been doing a huge favor. Radio men (and obvious non-scientists) Jad Abumrad and Robert Krulwich tackle a different fascinating topic each epidsode, using colorful stories and interviews to paint a picture and bring up ideas most people don't normally think about. Very well produced, these episodes are a very entertaining way to wrap your mind around fascinating subjects.

Five seasons of five episodes have been produced, with several mini-episodes sprinkled in over the off-seasons. Each full episode of Radiolab runs about sixty captivating minutes, and can be easily downloaded or streamed from either the Radiolab website or Itunes. Your brain will thank you.

2. Ninkasi Brewing Company

As any beer drinker knows, taste buds become accustomed to the routine. As the years pass you reminisce on the days when Busch Light was the standard and cracking open a hefeweizen was considered 'getting serious'. While the occasional macro is still welcomed (like, on $1 PBR nights or after a workout), we've moved on to bolder choices. Luckily for us Oregonians, we're immersed in breweries - Widmer, Bridgeport, and Full Sail are the most widely known, with McMenamins, Rogue, and Deschutes carving out large, loyal fanbases (to name just a popular few). While all of these breweries offer many delicious beers, there's a relative unknown waiting to be tapped - Ninkasi. Though not the easiest draft to find (and even harder to find in stores), it's availability is growing. Ask your server - you might be surprised.

Now be forewarned, drinker: Ninkasi does not mess around. The hops are prevalent and the brews are potent (ranging from 4.7-8.8% alc/vol). But don't let the robustness fool you - if you really enjoy beer, you'll fall in love with Ninkasi.

Check out their history and beer list, or read some drinker reviews.

1. It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

To those who've already discovered, this selection is blatantly obvious. Arguably the funniest show currently on television, and also probably the edgiest.

The show consists of four egocentric friends (plus a terrific Danny Devito) who own an Irish pub in Philly. Always looking for a new scheme, they often find themselves in uncomfortable situations and in many cases, actual trouble. In every case, hilarity ensues.
The brilliance of the show comes not only from the storylines, but especially in the writing itself as well as the subleties of the actors. The show is written by the main characters, which allows them to play out the situations and dialogue exactly as they inteded. There's a slight air of ad-libbing, adding authenticity to the actors' lines. Nearly every episode is a keeper, and even the few weaker ones are chock full of hilarious quotes. A must-see for all Seinfeld and Arrested Development fans.

The gang can be seen on FX, but just finished the fourth season. I'd expect to see season five in the fall. The first three seasons are available on DVD.

For a full description, episode list, and some of those quotes, I suggest wikipedia and/or IMDb.